How to Get Over a Break Up

from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can Edit

Heartbreak: If you're living life to the fullest, you're going to experience heartbreak. Sometimes you're leaving, sometimes you're left, and no matter how it happened, the loss of your relationship can bring on intense heartache. But no matter who did the leaving, if you're looking for some help getting through it and want some suggestions about how to make it a little easier, read on...

Steps

1. Know that it is okay to cry. In fact it's brilliant to cry.

When you're feeling constructive, examine what had happened, and ask yourself why. Consider that this situation is probably not entirely your fault - or maybe it's not your fault at all. Thinking about the reasons why it ended can make it much clearer to you that it takes two people to start a relationship, but just one discordant person is enough to end it. It may also help you avoid many missteps in the future if you can identify areas where you contributed to the demise of the relationship.

Don't rethink your decision. If the breakup was your decision, keep in mind that only thinking about all the good times you had with your partner may cause you to forget the reasons why you broke it off. By the same token, try not to second-guess the situation if the decision to end things was not yours. It's very common to romanticize the good parts of the relationship, convincing yourself that maybe the bad parts weren't so bad after all, that maybe you could just live with them. Or that maybe if your ex would know just how you feel, he/she wouldn't want to break up after all. Don't play this game with yourself. Accept the situation and work on moving forward.

Keep your space. Even if you and your ex have decided to stay friends, break away completely from each other right after the breakup. This seriously means not seeing each other, not being around his/her family members, no phone calls, no e-mails, no text messages and no IMs - not necessarily as a permanent measure, but until you feel that you can converse with him/her on a purely platonic level, without an ulterior motive (and yes, wanting to get back together counts as an ulterior motive). If he/she tries to convince you to see him/her, ask yourself honestly what the point would be. If you're reliving the past by seeing him/her, it's not hard to get caught up in the moment and it will be harder to let go again. The longer you put off the end, the harder it is to stick to it and maintain your resolve, and the longer it will take to really get over it. Your pain will hold on as long as you do. Practice letting go. Let go. Let go. And now... let go. You may have to have some contact in order to deal with the practical aspects of things like moving out, signing papers, etc., but try to limit this to what's absolutely necessary, and then keep such calls/meetings short and civil.

Accept your pain. Have good long cries. It's okay to be hurt and sad, and it's okay to be alone. It's okay to feel like you have messed up - accepting responsibility for your mistakes or shortcomings is healthy. On the other hand, you must also accept that you are a good person, and that you did your best and you're not the only one who made mistakes. Of course, a stage of denial is completely natural, but acceptance is the key to being able to start moving on.

Think through everything thoroughly, but not obsessively. Go ahead and mull it over, as many times as necessary, within reason. Consider all the reasons you two broke up. Even if it sometimes seems as if there wasn't a good reason, there certainly was one - and probably more than one. Understand that you enjoyed being together for a while, but if the relationship was not what both you and your partner wanted for life, it would have ended eventually, no matter what. In this case, better sooner than later.

Deal with the 'hate phase'. This is when you want to just scream because your rage feels boundless. The amount of anger you feel depends on how antagonistic the split was, the circumstances (was there infidelity? That makes it worse), and how long it took to make the final break. You may resent your ex for wasting your time. You may realize that the breakup was inevitable (hindsight will reveal clues you failed to notice at the time). You may even feel a lot of anger towards yourself, but let go of that feeling fast! It's a waste of time and energy to rip yourself apart over something you no longer have the power to change. There are so many positive things you can do with your emotions and energy.

Talk to your friends. You want people around you who love you and who will help you feel good about yourself. Surrounding yourself with compassionate, supportive friends and family will help you see yourself as a worthwhile person, and you'll find it easier to get steady on your feet again with your loved ones around you in a comforting net. But be wary of friends trying to connect you with another person right now, this is not what you need.

Write all your feelings down. Write in a journal or try writing poems. The most important thing is to be absolutely honest and don't edit yourself as you go. One of the best results of writing it all down is that sometimes you will be amazed by a sudden insight that comes to you as you are pouring it all out onto paper. Patterns may become clearer, and as your grieving begins to lessen, you will find it so much easier to "get" valuable life lessons from the whole experience if you've been writing your way through it. No relationship is ever a failure if you manage to learn something about yourself from having gone through it all with your heart open to both joy and pain. Just because it didn't work out doesn't mean it wasn't a necessary part of your journey to becoming who you're meant to be. Allow at least the learning part to enrich your life.

Make a list to keep you honest. One of the best tricks to help you stick to your resolve is to make a list of all the reasons your ex was not the one for you. Be ruthless and clear -- this is not the time to be forgiving. What you're doing is creating a picture for yourself that will call up an emotional response when you feel tempted to think that "maybe if you just did this or that, it would work out..." Write down what happened and how it made you feel, being clear about the things you never want to feel again. ["1. She always put me down in front of her parents and I felt humiliated. 2. I don't want to go to parties with him because he's always hitting on my friends -- it makes me feel physically sick! 3. When I ask her to help with the housework, she says she's exhausted from sitting at her desk all day, even though I've been driving that cab all day and I end up doing all the cleaning by myself!"] And so on. When you find yourself missing your ex in a weak moment, and think you might actually be getting too close to the telephone, get out this list, read it over a couple times, and then talk to yourself, "This is the truth of what it was like. Why would I want to go back and torture myself again?" If you're caught in a low-self-esteem trap, thinking you don't deserve better, imagine this happening to a friend of yours, and think what you would say to your friend: "Get as far away as you can! That relationship was no good for you!"

Get organized! Clean up! A breakup can signify a new beginning. Therefore, cleaning and organizing your personal space will leave you feeling refreshed and prepared for the new things to come. A mess can be overwhelming and depressing, and will just add to your stress level. The added bonus is that keeping busy with tidying your space doesn't require a lot of brain power, but does require just enough focus to keep you from recycling pain. Occupying yourself with such tasks designed to make your life better and easier will also occupy your mind enough to help you through the residual pain.

Keep fond memories, discard painful ones. There are all kinds of things that remind you of your ex - a song, a smell, a sound, a place. Once the grieving period has had some time to process, don't dwell on painful feelings or memories. There are probably things that are pushing your buttons without your conscious recognition. Try walking around each room in your house with a box and removing things that make your heart ache or your stomach turn. Really focus and look carefully. You may realize that the little blue bird-shaped box sitting on the mantel has become pretty invisible for the last couple years, but when you take a conscious look at it, you notice that every time you turn towards that corner of the room and it catches your eye, you feel a sharp little pain in your solar plexus. It can work wonders to clear your space of all these triggers. If you have a keepsake, such as a watch or piece of jewelry that was given to you by your ex, and it's a reminder of the good aspects of your relationship, there's nothing wrong with keeping such a thing, but for the time being, try putting it away for later, when you've given yourself some time and space.

Find happiness in other areas of your life. (Remember: He/She is not responsible for your own happiness.) Whether that means spending time with your friends and family, signing up for that class you've always wanted to take, or reading every book on the New York Times bestseller list, remind yourself that a relationship is one part of life, but even when you are in one, there are personal pleasures that you can always enjoy on your own. Indulge in those things now. As they say, the best revenge is living well.

Stay active. It's scientifically proven that exercise improves your mood and alleviates depression, and the distraction will help keep your mind off your situation. Go running outside, visit (or join) the gym, or just go for a walk, maybe with a friend, and think of releasing the anger or sadness with every step.

Let go. Understand that there is no benefit in holding on to heartache, regret, and hatred toward another person. Realize that although it is over, your relationship with that person was unique and special in a lot of ways. You can congratulate yourself for being brave enough to take a risk and fall in love, and encourage your heart that even though love didn't work out this time, there will be a next time.

Take time. Find a place where you feel comfortable, relaxed, and which is far away from your ex. Take a moment to listen, and to be alone or with someone you trust. Remind yourself that, even worse than the pain of a breakup, is continuing a relationship that was not right for one or both of you.

Think positively. Now that you are single, you have another opportunity to find someone else to be with, someone new and different. You won't feel bad forever. Change your thinking; that will help change your behavior. Soon enough you'll be feeling released and free, and ready to take on new challenges. Make sure that in every endeavor you remember to be true to yourself.

Think bout all the good times you had and know theres more fish in the sea

Video

http://www.youtube.com/v/0wiMNxH-jgw&hl=en&fs=1&

Tips

• Walk out of your relationship, knowing that you have done all that you can do, said all that you can say, and given as much as you can give. When you feel that you did your part as best you could, but he or she didn't meet you halfway, then you will not need to torture yourself with "what-ifs".

Remember that your ex may be trying to get over you, as well. Be sensitive to that, and keep your distance. If you've decided to stop seeing one another, do just that: stop.

Sometimes it helps to listen to music that matches your feelings because you have stored up grief that needs a trigger to help you release it. But beware of wallowing. After a certain point, you're not helping yourself by going through it all again and again with the sad songs. Stephen Sondheim reminds us in his song "Into the Woods": "Into the woods and out of the woods and home before dark!" You can think of the grieving part of your process as "the woods": you may have to "go there", but you definitely shouldn't live there.

Get your groove on. Try making a couple of cd's or playlists that put your thoughts where you want them to be. Sometimes it helps to make a collection of more self-affirming, new-attitude, defiant songs if you are feeling helpless: choose lyrics that make you feel empowered and focused with a driving beat that brings out that "forget you!" spirit. ("Girlfriend" by Pebbles, They Might Be Giants'"Don't Let's Start", or "Break My Stride" by Matthew Wilder" are some old classic examples of tunes that might fit.) Or if you're just feeling plain old sad, pick songs that remind you matter-of-factly that things work out. (One example, The Who's song "Another Tricky Day" reminds you, "This is no social crisis, just another tricky day for you. You'll get through.")

Remember those old sayings: "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger", "Everything happens for a reason", "There are other fish in the sea" and most of all, "This too shall pass". When you go through a breakup or some other emotionally challenging time in your life, you're actually getting closer to finding real happiness because you are getting to know your true inner self. This may or may not include other romantic relationships or an eventual long-term union. Whatever happens is okay, no matter what you choose to do in life.

As simple as this sounds, be clear to yourself that you are actually breaking up. Too often the thoughts of possibly being back together will creep in, distracting you from the work of healing. Such fantasizing gradually eats at you and destroys your emotional well being. Accept the truth of your situation, and commit to it.

If your ex has left you for another person then ask yourself: if s/he said s/he wanted you back, would you really want him or her? Would you ever trust him/her not to break your heart again? Would you be hurt, angry, distrustful when s/he is 10 minutes late calling you, wondering where she is, who he is with? Though you may believe that the answer to all your prayers would be a reconciliation with your ex, if it did happen, you might find that Mr. Spock from Star Trek was right when he said "You may find that having is not so pleasing a thing, after all, as wanting. It is not logical, but it is often true."

Freedom from fear is what you get when you end a relationship with a cheater. Sometimes the most liberating phase of a post-betrayal breakup is the sudden realization that you are no longer sitting at home waiting for a phone call, spending the evening obsessively searching for evidence of an affair, or just imagining what might be going on behind your back - you're done with all that! The one deserving person you need to take care of now is yourself, and it is so much easier to relax and just love yourself when you're not in constant fear. Count this as a gigantic blessing!

Keep your dignity. Many times, it's our own ego that causes the pain; we feel rejected and deceived, embarrassed. We doubt our self worth and adequacy. A breakup, especially one in which your partner has cheated on you, can really undermine your self-confidence and shake your self-esteem to the core. Help rebuild your inner stability by impressing yourself with accomplishment - volunteer, take a class, do things that remind you of your value as a person.

Remember that this pain just has to be survived. It takes a season of time to heal, like a broken arm - there is no magical, instant cure or relief. You won't die from it, though you may feel like you will for a time. Endure. Eventually you will feel better, the pain will lessen, and you will be able to love again.

This one can't be repeated enough: It's a good time to try something new. Try a new hobby, a style, a sport. It'll keep you going and moving on and if your brain is circling endlessly, obsessing on the details of your pain, learning something new will interrupt the repetitive cycle. Those dusty,rusty old gears need some fresh air and polish!

If you find yourself compulsively checking your ex's MySpace, Facebook, or any other social networking profile, help yourself out and use the Firefox extension, block site, which allows you to block the URL to that profile. Sometimes it also helps to take them off your 'Friends' list, or 'de-friend' them, at least for a while. Even if things ended on a clean slate, it can be too painful to see what the other person is up to.

Your partner has a right to choose to be or not to be with you. Respect the decision. If your partner digs at you again, do behave with dignity. Taking the high road may be hard now, but you'll be glad later that you didn't stoop to the gutter, even though you could have.

Every day, find something that will make you smile. Smiling really helps, even at the worst time of your life. You are free to be whoever you want to be now, without thinking "will he/she mind if I do that?". Nothing is more important than you. Love yourself, love life, and when you wake up, SMILE! (Carole King's wonderful anthem "Beautiful" has the lines, "You've got to get up every morning with a smile on your face and show the world all the love in your heart. Then people gonna treat you better, you're gonna find -- yes you will -- that you're beautiful... as you feel." Sometimes it helps to play that song for yourself first thing every morning!)

Perhaps the most difficult part of coping with an ended relationship is missing all the good things that you've lost, all the wonderful feelings, all the beautiful moments that you have spent with your ex. You should know that although your ex was the reason you felt those good feelings, it is YOU who had them and still has them inside yourself. Your lover didn't plant those feelings inside you, but you developed them yourself. They are still there inside you and nobody can take them from you. You are able to feel them whenever the occasion arises, and it will arise again in the future for sure.

After some time passes (how much time depends on the length and/or intensity of your relationship and how dependent you let yourself become on your ex), you will start to feel better. This does not mean that you should jump into another relationship right away, especially a serious one. Take it easy. You have all the time in the world to feel better, and just because you meet a nice guy/girl does not mean you should get involved. Your emotions may still be unstable and the first person you meet may get a version of you that is not completely healed.

Distract Yourself, try new and exciting activities, You'll find that being able to distract yourself can go a long way towards helping you feel better.

If you just broke up with your boyfriend and all you can think about is him then you are still stuck in the past. in order to move on you got to indulge yourself with positive people and let go of that one thing that one person who makes you sad

Things You'll Need

• You can do it without the following items, but they are highly recommended for the most rewarding (yes, really!) experience possible:

• A few shoulders to cry on. It really does help to talk about it, preferably to more than just one person (if only to give your best friend some relief).

A Teddy Bear (for hugs and to talk to at 4am when everyone else is asleep.) That is, unless, your ex is named Ted. Dogs and cats will do, too, although pets may not always give you quite that loving sympathetic gaze and undivided attention that teddy bears are so good at. (But avoid the stuffed animals/gifts your ex gave you)

Hot showers (As much as you may not even want to get out of bed, much less get in the shower - *sniffle* "who cares if I wash my hair now, anyway?" - you will feel better after a shower, or a nice long soak in the tub. Hot water relaxes tense muscles, soothes anxiety and refreshes puffy eyes and swollen, tear-stained faces.

Paper and pens (a journal is perfect, paints and glue and other illustration tools, even better!)

Funny movies and absorbing novels can be a great temporary respite and laughter can really lighten your mood.

Healthy snacks! If you're one of the millions who try to fill that hollow sad feeling through your mouth (which doesn't work because food isn't what you're missing), fill the fridge with celery sticks and other light snacks that you won't regret later if you're nibbling nervously. (On the other hand, don't forget to eat! Heartbreak can often rob you of your appetite, but be sure not to to punish yourself and remember to think about your health, as you are the most important person now. Being ill from malnutrition won't help you be strong enough to move on. If you've lost your appetite, make sure you have the fridge stocked with relatively healthy food that you like, and make sure you eat enough to keep your energy up.)

Your sense of humor and your knowledge that "this too shall pass".

Lots of tissues.

Self-love. Even if you aren't feeling so hot about yourself right now, look in the mirror and remind yourself of all the good things about you, and the fact that breaking up does not mean there is something wrong with you. Find things you like about yourself. If you're having trouble telling yourself good things, go out and commit a covert act of kindness towards a friend or stranger and savor the feeling of having such a sweet secret. And remember that lots of great people have failed relationships; the fact that your relationship failed says nothing about you as a person. it doesn't mean there is something wrong with you, it means there was something not working in the relationship.

Friends and family can be a great support system - you may find that the people you're closest to will do anything and everything to help you heal and be happy again. However, sometimes this isn't the case. If you have unsupportive people in your life, you need to seek support elsewhere. Make meeting supportive new people who share your interests part of your new challenge! But whether it's friends or family, the point is to get out of your house and out of your own head and go spend time with other people. Even if that feels like the last thing you want to do, it's important that you don't just barricade yourself at home and go through this by yourself. Once you establish that pattern, it gets harder and harder to break out of it. Make room for your friends and let them help you through this.

The realization that great guys/girls DO exist, this is not the last person you will ever love, and that one day you'll find the one for you that you'll go the distance with. If you found it once, you can find it again. Promise.

Something to get your mind off of that certain guy or girl. Maybe just hanging out with good friends or going shopping for something that you really want. You might be surprised by how much better you feel once you take your mind out of its intense focus and just relax and do something fun.

Related wikiHows

• How to Break Up

How to Fall out of Love With Someone

How to Get Over Your First Love

How to Gain Control of Your Emotions

How to Deal With Being Dumped when You Want to Remain Friends

How to Get Your Ex Back Easy Techniques

How to Break Up with Your Boyfriend if You Are in Love with Him

Sources and Citations

• [1] relationship advice on how to get over a break up

[http;//www.strugglefreedating.com] - strugglefreedating.com advice on how to get over a break up

http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Get-Over-a-Break-Up-Guide&id=1302008

[2] breaking up in a relationship advice

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How to Get Over a Break Up

from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can Edit


Heartbreak: If you're living life to the fullest, you're going to experience heartbreak. Sometimes you're leaving, sometimes you're left, and no matter how it happened, the loss of your relationship can bring on intense heartache. But no matter who did the leaving, if you're looking for some help getting through it and want some suggestions about how to make it a little easier, read on...

Steps

1. Know that it is okay to cry. In fact it's brilliant to cry.
   
2. When you're feeling constructive, examine what had happened, and ask yourself why. Consider that this situation is probably not entirely your fault - or maybe it's not your fault at all. Thinking about the reasons why it ended can make it much clearer to you that it takes two people to start a relationship, but just one discordant person is enough to end it. It may also help you avoid many missteps in the future if you can identify areas where you contributed to the demise of the relationship.
   
3. Don't rethink your decision. If the breakup was your decision, keep in mind that only thinking about all the good times you had with your partner may cause you to forget the reasons why you broke it off. By the same token, try not to second-guess the situation if the decision to end things was not yours. It's very common to romanticize the good parts of the relationship, convincing yourself that maybe the bad parts weren't so bad after all, that maybe you could just live with them. Or that maybe if your ex would know just how you feel, he/she wouldn't want to break up after all. Don't play this game with yourself. Accept the situation and work on moving forward.
   
4. Keep your space. Even if you and your ex have decided to stay friends, break away completely from each other right after the breakup. This seriously means not seeing each other, not being around his/her family members, no phone calls, no e-mails, no text messages and no IMs - not necessarily as a permanent measure, but until you feel that you can converse with him/her on a purely platonic level, without an ulterior motive (and yes, wanting to get back together counts as an ulterior motive). If he/she tries to convince you to see him/her, ask yourself honestly what the point would be. If you're reliving the past by seeing him/her, it's not hard to get caught up in the moment and it will be harder to let go again. The longer you put off the end, the harder it is to stick to it and maintain your resolve, and the longer it will take to really get over it. Your pain will hold on as long as you do. Practice letting go. Let go. Let go. And now... let go. You may have to have some contact in order to deal with the practical aspects of things like moving out, signing papers, etc., but try to limit this to what's absolutely necessary, and then keep such calls/meetings short and civil.
   
5. Accept your pain. Have good long cries. It's okay to be hurt and sad, and it's okay to be alone. It's okay to feel like you have messed up - accepting responsibility for your mistakes or shortcomings is healthy. On the other hand, you must also accept that you are a good person, and that you did your best and you're not the only one who made mistakes. Of course, a stage of denial is completely natural, but acceptance is the key to being able to start moving on.
   
6. Think through everything thoroughly, but not obsessively. Go ahead and mull it over, as many times as necessary, within reason. Consider all the reasons you two broke up. Even if it sometimes seems as if there wasn't a good reason, there certainly was one - and probably more than one. Understand that you enjoyed being together for a while, but if the relationship was not what both you and your partner wanted for life, it would have ended eventually, no matter what. In this case, better sooner than later.
   
7. Deal with the 'hate phase'. This is when you want to just scream because your rage feels boundless. The amount of anger you feel depends on how antagonistic the split was, the circumstances (was there infidelity? That makes it worse), and how long it took to make the final break. You may resent your ex for wasting your time. You may realize that the breakup was inevitable (hindsight will reveal clues you failed to notice at the time). You may even feel a lot of anger towards yourself, but let go of that feeling fast! It's a waste of time and energy to rip yourself apart over something you no longer have the power to change. There are so many positive things you can do with your emotions and energy.
   
8. Talk to your friends. You want people around you who love you and who will help you feel good about yourself. Surrounding yourself with compassionate, supportive friends and family will help you see yourself as a worthwhile person, and you'll find it easier to get steady on your feet again with your loved ones around you in a comforting net. But be wary of friends trying to connect you with another person right now, this is not what you need.
   
9. Write all your feelings down. Write in a journal or try writing poems. The most important thing is to be absolutely honest and don't edit yourself as you go. One of the best results of writing it all down is that sometimes you will be amazed by a sudden insight that comes to you as you are pouring it all out onto paper. Patterns may become clearer, and as your grieving begins to lessen, you will find it so much easier to "get" valuable life lessons from the whole experience if you've been writing your way through it. No relationship is ever a failure if you manage to learn something about yourself from having gone through it all with your heart open to both joy and pain. Just because it didn't work out doesn't mean it wasn't a necessary part of your journey to becoming who you're meant to be. Allow at least the learning part to enrich your life.
   
10. Make a list to keep you honest. One of the best tricks to help you stick to your resolve is to make a list of all the reasons your ex was not the one for you. Be ruthless and clear -- this is not the time to be forgiving. What you're doing is creating a picture for yourself that will call up an emotional response when you feel tempted to think that "maybe if you just did this or that, it would work out..." Write down what happened and how it made you feel, being clear about the things you never want to feel again. ["1. She always put me down in front of her parents and I felt humiliated. 2. I don't want to go to parties with him because he's always hitting on my friends -- it makes me feel physically sick! 3. When I ask her to help with the housework, she says she's exhausted from sitting at her desk all day, even though I've been driving that cab all day and I end up doing all the cleaning by myself!"] And so on. When you find yourself missing your ex in a weak moment, and think you might actually be getting too close to the telephone, get out this list, read it over a couple times, and then talk to yourself, "This is the truth of what it was like. Why would I want to go back and torture myself again?" If you're caught in a low-self-esteem trap, thinking you don't deserve better, imagine this happening to a friend of yours, and think what you would say to your friend: "Get as far away as you can! That relationship was no good for you!"
    
11. Get organized! Clean up! A breakup can signify a new beginning. Therefore, cleaning and organizing your personal space will leave you feeling refreshed and prepared for the new things to come. A mess can be overwhelming and depressing, and will just add to your stress level. The added bonus is that keeping busy with tidying your space doesn't require a lot of brain power, but does require just enough focus to keep you from recycling pain. Occupying yourself with such tasks designed to make your life better and easier will also occupy your mind enough to help you through the residual pain.
    
12. Keep fond memories, discard painful ones. There are all kinds of things that remind you of your ex - a song, a smell, a sound, a place. Once the grieving period has had some time to process, don't dwell on painful feelings or memories. There are probably things that are pushing your buttons without your conscious recognition. Try walking around each room in your house with a box and removing things that make your heart ache or your stomach turn. Really focus and look carefully. You may realize that the little blue bird-shaped box sitting on the mantel has become pretty invisible for the last couple years, but when you take a conscious look at it, you notice that every time you turn towards that corner of the room and it catches your eye, you feel a sharp little pain in your solar plexus. It can work wonders to clear your space of all these triggers. If you have a keepsake, such as a watch or piece of jewelry that was given to you by your ex, and it's a reminder of the good aspects of your relationship, there's nothing wrong with keeping such a thing, but for the time being, try putting it away for later, when you've given yourself some time and space.
    
13. Find happiness in other areas of your life. (Remember: He/She is not responsible for your own happiness.) Whether that means spending time with your friends and family, signing up for that class you've always wanted to take, or reading every book on the New York Times bestseller list, remind yourself that a relationship is one part of life, but even when you are in one, there are personal pleasures that you can always enjoy on your own. Indulge in those things now. As they say, the best revenge is living well.
    
14. Stay active. It's scientifically proven that exercise improves your mood and alleviates depression, and the distraction will help keep your mind off your situation. Go running outside, visit (or join) the gym, or just go for a walk, maybe with a friend, and think of releasing the anger or sadness with every step.
    
15. Let go. Understand that there is no benefit in holding on to heartache, regret, and hatred toward another person. Realize that although it is over, your relationship with that person was unique and special in a lot of ways. You can congratulate yourself for being brave enough to take a risk and fall in love, and encourage your heart that even though love didn't work out this time, there will be a next time.
    
16. Take time. Find a place where you feel comfortable, relaxed, and which is far away from your ex. Take a moment to listen, and to be alone or with someone you trust. Remind yourself that, even worse than the pain of a breakup, is continuing a relationship that was not right for one or both of you.
    
17. Think positively. Now that you are single, you have another opportunity to find someone else to be with, someone new and different. You won't feel bad forever. Change your thinking; that will help change your behavior. Soon enough you'll be feeling released and free, and ready to take on new challenges. Make sure that in every endeavor you remember to be true to yourself.
    
18. Think bout all the good times you had and know theres more fish in the sea
    

Video

http://www.youtube.com/v/0wiMNxH-jgw&hl=en&fs=1&

Tips

• Walk out of your relationship, knowing that you have done all that you can do, said all that you can say, and given as much as you can give. When you feel that you did your part as best you could, but he or she didn't meet you halfway, then you will not need to torture yourself with "what-ifs".
  
• Remember that your ex may be trying to get over you, as well. Be sensitive to that, and keep your distance. If you've decided to stop seeing one another, do just that: stop.
  
• Sometimes it helps to listen to music that matches your feelings because you have stored up grief that needs a trigger to help you release it. But beware of wallowing. After a certain point, you're not helping yourself by going through it all again and again with the sad songs. Stephen Sondheim reminds us in his song "Into the Woods": "Into the woods and out of the woods and home before dark!" You can think of the grieving part of your process as "the woods": you may have to "go there", but you definitely shouldn't live there.
  
• Get your groove on. Try making a couple of cd's or playlists that put your thoughts where you want them to be. Sometimes it helps to make a collection of more self-affirming, new-attitude, defiant songs if you are feeling helpless: choose lyrics that make you feel empowered and focused with a driving beat that brings out that "forget you!" spirit. ("Girlfriend" by Pebbles, They Might Be Giants'"Don't Let's Start", or "Break My Stride" by Matthew Wilder" are some old classic examples of tunes that might fit.) Or if you're just feeling plain old sad, pick songs that remind you matter-of-factly that things work out. (One example, The Who's song "Another Tricky Day" reminds you, "This is no social crisis, just another tricky day for you. You'll get through.")
  
• Remember those old sayings: "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger", "Everything happens for a reason", "There are other fish in the sea" and most of all, "This too shall pass". When you go through a breakup or some other emotionally challenging time in your life, you're actually getting closer to finding real happiness because you are getting to know your true inner self. This may or may not include other romantic relationships or an eventual long-term union. Whatever happens is okay, no matter what you choose to do in life.
  
• As simple as this sounds, be clear to yourself that you are actually breaking up. Too often the thoughts of possibly being back together will creep in, distracting you from the work of healing. Such fantasizing gradually eats at you and destroys your emotional well being. Accept the truth of your situation, and commit to it.
  
• If your ex has left you for another person then ask yourself: if s/he said s/he wanted you back, would you really want him or her? Would you ever trust him/her not to break your heart again? Would you be hurt, angry, distrustful when s/he is 10 minutes late calling you, wondering where she is, who he is with? Though you may believe that the answer to all your prayers would be a reconciliation with your ex, if it did happen, you might find that Mr. Spock from Star Trek was right when he said "You may find that having is not so pleasing a thing, after all, as wanting. It is not logical, but it is often true."
  
• Freedom from fear is what you get when you end a relationship with a cheater. Sometimes the most liberating phase of a post-betrayal breakup is the sudden realization that you are no longer sitting at home waiting for a phone call, spending the evening obsessively searching for evidence of an affair, or just imagining what might be going on behind your back - you're done with all that! The one deserving person you need to take care of now is yourself, and it is so much easier to relax and just love yourself when you're not in constant fear. Count this as a gigantic blessing!
  
• Keep your dignity. Many times, it's our own ego that causes the pain; we feel rejected and deceived, embarrassed. We doubt our self worth and adequacy. A breakup, especially one in which your partner has cheated on you, can really undermine your self-confidence and shake your self-esteem to the core. Help rebuild your inner stability by impressing yourself with accomplishment - volunteer, take a class, do things that remind you of your value as a person.
  
• Remember that this pain just has to be survived. It takes a season of time to heal, like a broken arm - there is no magical, instant cure or relief. You won't die from it, though you may feel like you will for a time. Endure. Eventually you will feel better, the pain will lessen, and you will be able to love again.
  
• This one can't be repeated enough: It's a good time to try something new. Try a new hobby, a style, a sport. It'll keep you going and moving on and if your brain is circling endlessly, obsessing on the details of your pain, learning something new will interrupt the repetitive cycle. Those dusty,rusty old gears need some fresh air and polish!
  
• If you find yourself compulsively checking your ex's MySpace, Facebook, or any other social networking profile, help yourself out and use the Firefox extension, block site, which allows you to block the URL to that profile. Sometimes it also helps to take them off your 'Friends' list, or 'de-friend' them, at least for a while. Even if things ended on a clean slate, it can be too painful to see what the other person is up to.
  
• Your partner has a right to choose to be or not to be with you. Respect the decision. If your partner digs at you again, do behave with dignity. Taking the high road may be hard now, but you'll be glad later that you didn't stoop to the gutter, even though you could have.
  
• Every day, find something that will make you smile. Smiling really helps, even at the worst time of your life. You are free to be whoever you want to be now, without thinking "will he/she mind if I do that?". Nothing is more important than you. Love yourself, love life, and when you wake up, SMILE! (Carole King's wonderful anthem "Beautiful" has the lines, "You've got to get up every morning with a smile on your face and show the world all the love in your heart. Then people gonna treat you better, you're gonna find -- yes you will -- that you're beautiful... as you feel." Sometimes it helps to play that song for yourself first thing every morning!)
  
• Perhaps the most difficult part of coping with an ended relationship is missing all the good things that you've lost, all the wonderful feelings, all the beautiful moments that you have spent with your ex. You should know that although your ex was the reason you felt those good feelings, it is YOU who had them and still has them inside yourself. Your lover didn't plant those feelings inside you, but you developed them yourself. They are still there inside you and nobody can take them from you. You are able to feel them whenever the occasion arises, and it will arise again in the future for sure.
  
• After some time passes (how much time depends on the length and/or intensity of your relationship and how dependent you let yourself become on your ex), you will start to feel better. This does not mean that you should jump into another relationship right away, especially a serious one. Take it easy. You have all the time in the world to feel better, and just because you meet a nice guy/girl does not mean you should get involved. Your emotions may still be unstable and the first person you meet may get a version of you that is not completely healed.
  
• Distract Yourself, try new and exciting activities, You'll find that being able to distract yourself can go a long way towards helping you feel better.
  
• If you just broke up with your boyfriend and all you can think about is him then you are still stuck in the past. in order to move on you got to indulge yourself with positive people and let go of that one thing that one person who makes you sad
  

Things You'll Need

• You can do it without the following items, but they are highly recommended for the most rewarding (yes, really!) experience possible:
  
  • A few shoulders to cry on. It really does help to talk about it, preferably to more than just one person (if only to give your best friend some relief).
    
  • A Teddy Bear (for hugs and to talk to at 4am when everyone else is asleep.) That is, unless, your ex is named Ted. Dogs and cats will do, too, although pets may not always give you quite that loving sympathetic gaze and undivided attention that teddy bears are so good at. (But avoid the stuffed animals/gifts your ex gave you)
    
  • Hot showers (As much as you may not even want to get out of bed, much less get in the shower - *sniffle* "who cares if I wash my hair now, anyway?" - you will feel better after a shower, or a nice long soak in the tub. Hot water relaxes tense muscles, soothes anxiety and refreshes puffy eyes and swollen, tear-stained faces.
    
  • Paper and pens (a journal is perfect, paints and glue and other illustration tools, even better!)
    
  • Funny movies and absorbing novels can be a great temporary respite and laughter can really lighten your mood.
    
  • Healthy snacks! If you're one of the millions who try to fill that hollow sad feeling through your mouth (which doesn't work because food isn't what you're missing), fill the fridge with celery sticks and other light snacks that you won't regret later if you're nibbling nervously. (On the other hand, don't forget to eat! Heartbreak can often rob you of your appetite, but be sure not to to punish yourself and remember to think about your health, as you are the most important person now. Being ill from malnutrition won't help you be strong enough to move on. If you've lost your appetite, make sure you have the fridge stocked with relatively healthy food that you like, and make sure you eat enough to keep your energy up.)
    
  • Your sense of humor and your knowledge that "this too shall pass".
    
  • Lots of tissues.
    
  • Self-love. Even if you aren't feeling so hot about yourself right now, look in the mirror and remind yourself of all the good things about you, and the fact that breaking up does not mean there is something wrong with you. Find things you like about yourself. If you're having trouble telling yourself good things, go out and commit a covert act of kindness towards a friend or stranger and savor the feeling of having such a sweet secret. And remember that lots of great people have failed relationships; the fact that your relationship failed says nothing about you as a person. it doesn't mean there is something wrong with you, it means there was something not working in the relationship.
    
  • Friends and family can be a great support system - you may find that the people you're closest to will do anything and everything to help you heal and be happy again. However, sometimes this isn't the case. If you have unsupportive people in your life, you need to seek support elsewhere. Make meeting supportive new people who share your interests part of your new challenge! But whether it's friends or family, the point is to get out of your house and out of your own head and go spend time with other people. Even if that feels like the last thing you want to do, it's important that you don't just barricade yourself at home and go through this by yourself. Once you establish that pattern, it gets harder and harder to break out of it. Make room for your friends and let them help you through this.
    
  • The realization that great guys/girls DO exist, this is not the last person you will ever love, and that one day you'll find the one for you that you'll go the distance with. If you found it once, you can find it again. Promise.
    
  • Something to get your mind off of that certain guy or girl. Maybe just hanging out with good friends or going shopping for something that you really want. You might be surprised by how much better you feel once you take your mind out of its intense focus and just relax and do something fun.
    
  
  

Related wikiHows

• How to Break Up
  
• How to Fall out of Love With Someone
  
• How to Get Over Your First Love
  
• How to Gain Control of Your Emotions
  
• How to Deal With Being Dumped when You Want to Remain Friends
  
• How to Get Your Ex Back Easy Techniques
  
• How to Break Up with Your Boyfriend if You Are in Love with Him
  

Sources and Citations

• [1] relationship advice on how to get over a break up
  
• [http;//www.strugglefreedating.com] - strugglefreedating.com advice on how to get over a break up
  
• http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Get-Over-a-Break-Up-Guide&id=1302008
  
• [2] breaking up in a relationship advice
  

Article provided by wikiHow, a wiki how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Get Over a Break Up. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.

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How to Get Six Pack Abs

from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can Edit


Strengthen your abdominal muscles and lose body fat. The concept is simple, but putting it into action is not simple at all. It will take dedication, time and patience to get a six pack but in the end, the effort is well worth it. You can have the most toned and defined abs but they won't show through if there's a layer of fat over them.

Contents

• 1 Steps
  
  
  
  • 1.1 Build Muscle
  
  
  • 1.2 Lose Fat
  
  
  
  


• 2 Tips


• 3 Warnings


• 4 Related wikiHows


• 5 Sources and Citations

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Steps

To get six pack abs you need to do two things: Build muscle and lose fat. Here are ways to accomplish each of these goals:
Build Muscle

1. Do squats. To build really great abs it's important to first understand what abs do. Their full name is 'rectus abdominis'. The 'rectus' bit, is latin for 'straight, proper, upright'. Contrary to popular opinion, the abs primary job is not to curl you up into a ball, but they work together with the back muscles to maintain correct posture and stabilise the spine. Therefor training your abs without training you back will create an imbalance in the musculature that supports your spine. These muscles are not just for show! So the best exercises for abs are ones that force your entire core to go into overdrive to support your spine. Some exercises that do this are squats and deadlifts. These exercises will train your entire core to work together to do what it is designed to do. At the same time they will also train a lot of other muscles (eg glutes and quads), and this promotes even more rapid fat loss as the body recovers.
   
2. Do Crunches. Lie on the floor (with or without a mat) your arms in front of your chest. Bend your knees up as far as they go. Do not place both hands behind your head. Placing both hands behind your head can cause lower back problems in the long run as it places unnecessary stress on that part of your body from pulling on your head and neck. Another alternative is to cross your arms in front of your chest and lightly place your finger tips behind your ears, without pulling on your neck. Now raise your shoulders (upper torso) towards your knees, using strictly your abdominal muscles. It is very important not to lift your entire back off the floor, as this can cause back strain, and the extended movement does not help you develop six pack abs any faster. The most important part of the crunch is the initial flexing of your abs as you lift your shoulders off the floor. As soon as you begin lifting off the floor exhale through your mouth, ending with a gasp once your shoulders are off the floor. Then pause for a second once you are at the top of the crunch and exhale the last bit of air from your diaphragm while flexing your abs. The proper breathing and flexing make all the difference. Now lower back down slowly and controlled while inhaling through your nose, just until your shoulder blades touch the ground. Do not let your head touch the ground and repeat.
   
3. Do Sit Ups. Lie on the floor, feet on the floor, knees up and fingers placed behind your ears or hands crossed on your chest. Sit all the way up, lifting your lower back off the floor along with your shoulder blades.Lower yourself down. Repeat. Once this becomes relatively easy for you (i.e. you can do a quite a bit with ease) start adding more challenges. Find an incline bench or do these with an exercise ball. Once you "graduate" from that, do weighted sit ups. Hold a weight on your chest while you do these. As these become easier, hold heavier and heavier weights.
   
4. Do Leg Lifts. Lift your feet off the ground while doing the sit ups by alternating each leg in the air. Bicycling, pretending to pedal while sitting up. Alternating knee touches. If your hands are behind your head, bring your left knee up to touch your right elbow and then your right knee to the left elbow.
   
5. Do Leg Lifts. Lie on the floor, legs straight out, hands at your sides. Lift your legs straight up (not bending your knees at all) until they're at a 90 degree angle (or close). Lower your legs and repeat without letting your legs touch the floor. For more challenge there is equipment at most gyms that will allow you to raise yourself up using your arms as support and dangle your legs. You can perform leg lifts there too. If you're using this piece of equipment, you can make it easier by just raising your knees to your chest. It's more difficult to raise your legs to a horizontal position with your legs straight. This helps firm up the lower abdomen. If you're truly a monster, try doing leg lifts with a medicine ball hanging from your feet. Or hang from a pull up bar and raise your legs in front of you all the way up to the bar.
   
6. Do Jackknife Sit Ups. Lie down flat on the floor. Place your hands on the ground to your sides for balance; you can pick them up as you get used to the movement. Simultaneously raise your knees and torso so that your knees and face meet on an imaginary line extending from your pelvis to the ceiling. You should be able to kiss your knees at the top of the motion. Your legs will naturally fold bringing your feet towards your hips, much like a jackknife. Lie back down (i.e. "spread out") and repeat. Place a weight between your feet when you think you can handle it.
   
7. Do V-ups. Lie on the floor, legs straight out, hands on the floor but this time extended out over your head. Simultaneously raise legs and torso. Don't bend your knees! What kind of V would it be if you bend your knees? Reach with your hands toward the raised feet. Touch your feet if possible (will require some flexibility). Relax, return to starting position and repeat. Add weight between feet to match your taste.
   
8. Static Hold and Side Statics. Put your body into the push-up position but with your elbows on the floor, and your whole body flat. This position is known as the static hold position and it trains your core (including your abs) to hold the body in place which is the real purpose of your abs. Hold this position for as long as possible. Beginners should be aiming to start off with at least 45 seconds, while seasoned ab workers are known to achieve over 5 minute static holds. To perform the side static hold, roll onto one side of your body and lift into the same position as before, but this time only one arm will be on the ground with the other arm pointed straight up the air and your non weight bearing leg resting on your bottom leg. Once again, hold this for as long as possible.
   
9. Train Your Oblique Muscles. It's not as important to work on your oblique muscles at first, but eventually you'll want to start working these too. These are the muscles to either side of your stomach. There are multiple ways to do this and anything that includes twisting your torso against a resistance counts. There are twisting machines at gyms, you can twist while you do sit-ups, you can do side bends, you can twist side to side with a medicine ball in hand, etc. Be aware though, that many beginners tend to have weak obliques compared to their abs (it simply isn't used as much in daily life) so go easy on the sides at first.
   
10. Now that you've made up your mind about a washboard mid-section, be Creative! Find new ways to crunch, bend and twist in your daily life. Some possibilities include:
    
    • Use a stability ball. Do your crunches on the ball to introduce instability to your workout, which will improve your balance too. There are also lots of core exercises that can be done with a stability ball.You can also use a small bubble used for physical therapy.
      
    • Duck and twist during your daily routine. Reach with your left hand to things on your right and vice versa. If you feel like turning around to face something, see if you can do it with keeping your hips in place and twisting at the waist (warning: awkward when talking to other people, use only against inanimate objects). While walking or standing, pretend that something is coming toward you and you have to duck to get out of the way. Do this as often as you are comfortable or at times when it won't look weird. You can bend forward from the hips or, if you're really into it, bend at the knees too and really "sink" out of the way. Caution: If you have lower back problems, you could injure yourself.
      
    • Incorporate Sprints into your regular workout routine. Any higher-impact running works the abs, but intense sprinting derives power specifically from the lower abs.
      
    
    
11. Do the Scientific Best Abs Exercise Researchers at the San Diego State University, found that there are certain abs exercises that triggers most muscular activity. The winner was the "bicycle maneuver":
    
    • Lie on the floor; make sure your lower back is pressed on the ground.
      
    • Take your hands behind your ears. Then bring up your knees at a 45 degree angle.
      
    • Start doing a bicycle pedaling motion. Touch your elbow with the opposite knee (right elbow with left knee and so on, alternating)
      
    • Breathe in a relaxed and even manner throughout the exercise.
      
    
    

Lose Fat

1. Lift Weights. The more muscle your body has, the more calories your body burns, even at rest. Many people are afraid of getting huge due to weight lifting but the fact is you won't! Many huge body-builders out there have been body-building for years to get huge. Since you want your abs to show, you should be eating fewer calories than you burn, and your body can't build a large amount of muscle without excess calories, so you shouldn't have to worry about this potential problem at all. If you just do cardiovascular exercises (running, playing basketball, football, etc.) without lifting weights then you will lose the muscle mass, you will also feel weak and it will take longer to lose that fat. So, to get rid of that fat quickly lift weights combined with cardiovascular exercises. Running, biking, swimming, stair climbing, jumping rope, tennis, volleyball, dancing, squash or any other activity that gets you moving and keeps you moving is a great way to burn fat. However, a cardiovascular workout should be performed for at least 20 to 30 minutes to burn fat. Prior to this your body will simply run on its stored energy, which results in minimal fat loss. Cardiovascular training should always be done after your weight lifting workout. While lifting weights, you use stored, (carbohydrate) energy, thus, by performing cardiovascular exercises after weight training your body will have less stored energy to use and go straight into the fat storage for its energy use. Some think the best way to shed fat fast is to do cardiovascular exercises right when you wake up. The theory is that your body will search for energy to use, and when it finds nothing in your stomach, it will go directly to your fat reserves for energy. Others say that the first thing you should do in the morning is eat, to get your metabolism going earlier.
   
2. Keep Metabolism Steady. Eating one small meal every three hours that you are awake will not speed up your metabolism, rather, it will keep it going. Your metabolism goes and slows with your food intake and eating something small every three hours will keep that metabolism burning calories and will help you lose weight. Every meal should include lean protein, so that your body won't need to break down your muscles for fuel, which would shrink your abs as well as slow down your metabolism.
   
3. Eat Smaller Dinners. Cut down on the size of your dinner. If you're hungry, snack on fruits or other healthy, low calorie snacks. Large dinners tend to hurt a fat loss process because most people aren't very active after dinner. This is the basis for advice along the lines of "don't eat anything within N hours before going to bed". The claim that your entire dinner is stored as fat isn't entirely true (the process is more complicated than that) but the fact you don't move after dinner is enough to hurt your cause. You can offset this by eating a larger lunch or snacking healthily before dinner. Fresh fruits or vegetables are excellent choices for curbing appetite not to mention other health benefits. A handful of nuts might do the same. Drink a large glass of water before sitting at the table.
   
4. Eat More Fiber. Most people don't get enough fiber. The recommended amount is actually not that much if you eat a healthy diet. "Fiber foods" include whole grains, fruits and vegetables, and nuts and seeds. Other options are fiber supplements.
   
5. Eat Breakfast. Many people skip breakfast because they don't have time for it. Keep this in mind: You don't have time to skip breakfast, it's simply too valuable to skip. The fact that skipping breakfast messes up your concentration and other mental functions is beyond the scope of this article. The harm of skipping breakfast from a weight loss perspective is it makes you eat a huge lunch since your body hasn't had anything in the past 12 (or more) hours. When you eat a huge lunch you get that after meal drowsiness so now you're both unproductive and inactive. Cereals don't take much time to prepare and consume, and most of them are very healthy nowadays. If you are extremely pressed for time, consider grabbing a box of breakfast bars or a smoothie and throwing one in your bag when you leave for work or school. Some breakfast bars out there are also excellent sources of fiber.
   
6. Drink More Water Every Day. Many places suggest 8 cups (2L) of water a day. It also depends on your weight (1L/20kg would be good, more if it's hot or you're ill). It sounds like an absurd amount of water, but actually, you can drink tea without sugar to make up some of the quota. In fact tea, especially green tea, will rev up your "metabolism" (actually cause a temporary increase in calories burned). For fat loss purposes, it is important to remind yourself that thirst is a much weaker stimulus than hunger. If you consistently feel hungry after meals, don't immediately think that you need to eat more. You may simply be thirsty!Needless to say there are many benefits of water. The human body is anywhere from 55% to 78% water depending on body size.
   
7. Avoid "white" foods (white rice, white flour, refined sugar) - these are all starchy foods which are metabolized readily into fat. Also avoid high sodium foods as "salt" will enable you to hold more water.
   

Tips

If you are not toned then you need to lose fat then tone your muscle, so it will take some time.

• Motivation is the key. Regardless of aim, having the right attitude towards your motivation is important. If your motivation source is purely the result, you will likely not last very long. It's important to enjoy the exercise, the immediate and long term benefits and to incorporate enjoyable activities into your exercise routine. And * It may help to use a record-keeper or plan book for your exercise program. Exercise journals are fantastic for this purpose because as you enter daily information in the journal, you're putting together a complete record that can be referred back to in the future.
  
• If you feel you need to, ease into the changes in your lifestyle. Start eating breakfast. If you have difficulty with this, start with a couple glasses of water or a large cup of coffee right when you wake up. It'll go down easy and prepare your stomach to get back to work. Cut the amount of dinners little by little. For the exercises, start slow and increase pace and/or repetitions as you are comfortable. Attempting lifestyle changes in a drastic, sudden manner can backfire. Do what you can but don't sell yourself short.
  
• Make a photo diary of your body but don't take pictures too often (once a month is fine). Don't study your pictures intensely since you might not get motivated if you don't see a difference. If you are consistent in your diet and exercise, you should see changes monthly. Keep in mind that you won't see changes in the mirror everyday since they will be very small improvements.
  
• Unless you are watching your weight for another reason, ignore the reading on the scale. You may be decreasing your body fat but your weight may stay the same (or even increase) as you build muscle. Muscle tissue is denser than fat so it will be heavier than the same volume of fat. Water weight can also vary your readings by a surprisingly large amount.
  
• Try to keep a steady eating routine. It will throw your body off if you skip a meal and starve yourself only to stuff your face later. Avoid such situations as much as possible.
  
• For added variety you may look into using a swiss ball and/or a medicine ball during your ab workout. Doing crunches on the swiss ball will improve your balance, or you may use it to get a little more flexion in your abs. The medicine ball has many different uses, the simplest one being added weight.
  
• If you are already skinny, but simply don't have the abdominal muscle that you want, passively exercising while doing other things can help a great deal. If you spend a long time in a sitting position, try continuously clenching your stomach. Get in the habit of doing this for hours at a time and you may be surprised at its effectiveness.
  
• Have 1 or 2 cups of black coffee up to 1 hour before your workout as it will boost metabolism and burn fat throughout your workout, just remember to stay hydrated while working out be drinking plenty of water.
  
• Try to make an effort to make your abs strong while you are young because the abs are one of the last muscles to atrophy, so you may not have to worry about them when you are older if you do a good job while you are young.
  
• Try some stress relieving activities, such as yoga or meditation. Built up stress causes an increase in your weight.
  
• You should make working out a priority like keeping a job, you don't want to miss and not get paid.
  
• 500 calories' is the calorie deficit a day needed to lose a pound of fat per week. This may be from eating less or hitting the gym.
  
• Since it is, literally, the center of your body, there are many other tricks you can use to train your abs, and many other movements will more or less involve your abs. Including every abdominal exercise in existence would make this article painfully long and new methods are being developed constantly.
  
• Don't drink milk or eat food immediately before exercise. After eating large quantities of food, do not immediately start doing sit ups, as this may cause you to become sick.
  

Warnings

• As with any exercise program, consult your doctor before making major changes in your workout routine if you have medical problems. Increase loads slowly. Being eager is great but setting unrealistic goals isn't going to help you in the long run.
  
• Most, if not all of these exercises are not recommended for people with lower back problems. There are many other ways to properly develop six pack abs without putting so much strain on your back. If in doubt or experiencing lower back pain, talk to a physical therapist for proper ways of performing the routines.
  
• Don't neglect warm-ups or you may find yourself pulling muscles and long-term pain when you start doing this method!
  
• This exercise regimen will only work for a select few individuals. For some people, this exercise advice will actually provide the opposite desired effects. For example, for people who have a few extra pounds around the belly and start this from scratch. They are actually more likely to look larger in the belly for a period of time since they are putting on muscle beneath their fat at first. You may want to begin for a significant period of time by doing more cardiovascular exercises to lose fat all over the body. Doing specific muscle exercises, unfortunately, does not remove fat from that specific area of the body. Additionally, focusing solely on the abs can produce an imbalance in the body and may cause back problems where there were none before or exacerbate any existing problems.
  
• Don't starve yourself. If you go hungry for an extended period of time your metabolism will slow down. The body, thinking that no food is available tries to make the best of what it has and goes into power-saving mode. Whilst on 'power-saving' mode, the body will supplement its carbohydrates (being burnt for energy) with the proteins in your muscles. What this means is that you are in fact eating back into that six pack just to try and make it show through.
  
• Fiber also acts like a mild laxative. Be careful if you eat a lot of fiber. It can also cause some gas if you're not used to taking in so much fiber. If you increase your fiber dosage by a lot, increase your water intake too. Excessive fiber with little water can result in digestive problems.
  
• Habitual snacking on unhealthy foods is often done almost unconsciously. Many people do this and don't realize how many calories they take in. They insist they eat very little (which is true during their major meals), but they don't realize that their snacking is making them gain weight or stopping them from losing weight. Avoid buying high sugar snacks and instead buy healthy, low calorie snacks. A way to prevent unhealthy snacking is to write down everything you eat in a day. As you watch the list grow you will be inclined to put that donut down.
  
• Be wary of ab machines shown on TV. Many of these are in fact rip offs and you are more likely to stay motivated if you incorporate an ABS workout into a regular gym session (you are less likely to get sick of it). You can get a great ab workout just by using the floor. Remember that it's not the exercise that will give you the six pack. It's the combination of strength exercises and fat loss. Playing more athletic sports, weight lifting, and cardiovascular exercises are a million times more effective for fat loss than using an exercise machine. If you feel you need to use those machines, a gym membership will likely suit you much better.
  
• Supplements can be useful, but they are just what they advertise themselves to be; supplements. There is no magic pill to make you lose weight with no work. There are some supplements out there that can help you lose weight by increasing your metabolism or by helping you curb your appetite, but you still have to work. Most tend to be "snake oil" and will not really give you any results while costing you great deals of money. And remember, even if they DO help, all supplements still require the consumer to watch their diet and increase their exercise. A simple multivitamin or mineral pill is likely all that most people will need.
  
• Sit ups can be bad for your back and neck. They have caused many lower back problems and are not recommended by most doctors. More and more K-12 schools are phasing sit ups out and switching to crunches. A good alternative to sit ups is to lay on your back, lift your feet in the air as high as you can reach them, and lift your butt off the floor instead. The best results come when you do them slow and tighten your abs (and even butt). When you lower your legs do not let your butt touch the ground completely, then repeat. This exercise conditions, tightens, and hardens all the same muscles as a sit up when used with crunches as well.
  
• Opinions on weight loss and muscle training routines are like noses - everyone has one but they're all different. In the end, you should find something you enjoy and that you will stick for life. Over time, you can modify it until you get the results that are right for you.
  
• One way to look at exercising and working out is to pretend that you are putting money in the bank.
  
• Be sure to work out every other day! When exercising you actually break down the muscle and if you give then the proper time to heal (and eat the proper foods) they will grow back stronger than before. Also important not to exercise the same muscles every other day, change from one muscle to another.
  
• Drinking too much water (several liters, especially while sweating) can dangerously dilute certain salts and minerals. If you are exercising heavily and sweating a lot, you will need to replace your salts as well as fluids. Supplement your water drinking with a sports drink or potassium rich fruits such as bananas and apples.
  
• Just as all women won't have the dream model's hourglass figure, all men won't get the dream chiseled abs. It's a genetic fact that for some men there will always be just a little more fat over the muscle layers than he'd like. That's the way nature is and forcing your body to lose more than that can be a very dangerous effort.
  
• Also, not everyone has a perfect six-pack waiting to be revealed. Many people's abdominal muscles are off-set, which can give the illusion of a 5 pack, 4 pack, or even 3 pack depending upon your genetics, the thickness of your abs, and your present level of body fat.
  

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Sources and Citations

• 5min - How to get six pack abs video 5min is a videopedia for instructional videos. Source of images in this article, shared with permission.
  

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